June 17

Proverbs 25-26 (biblegateway.com)

The Art of Wisdom in Relationships and Speech

Proverbs 25–26, part of the Proverbs of Solomon compiled by the men of King Hezekiah (Proverbs 25:1), return us to a rich collection of concise, insightful sayings that sharpen our understanding of wisdom in practical life. These chapters focus heavily on how we relate to others, especially through our speech, social conduct, and responses to conflict. Proverbs 25 highlights the beauty of restraint, humility, and gentle words, while Proverbs 26 contrasts wisdom with folly, revealing the destructive patterns of fools, sluggards, and deceptive people. These verses function like mirrors, exposing our tendencies and calling us to pursue wisdom in our interactions with others. They urge us to live thoughtfully and speak discerningly, reflecting the character of God in our daily conduct.

Proverbs 25

Proverbs 25 marks the beginning of a new section of Solomon’s wisdom, compiled during the reign of King Hezekiah (v. 1). This chapter examines the role of wisdom in leadership, communication, self-control, and interpersonal relationships. It opens with the assertion that while it is God’s glory to conceal things, it is the glory of kings to search them out (v. 2). Divine wisdom often lies beneath the surface and must be pursued diligently. Just as silver is refined through fire (v. 4), leadership is purified by removing wicked influences (v. 5). This refining imagery sets the tone for the rest of the chapter: wise living involves a constant filtering of motives, words, and relationships.

The role of godly leadership is one of discernment, humility, and deep inquiry. A wise leader, like God, does not act rashly or superficially, but seeks truth with patience and justice. We are reminded that those in leadership—whether in family, church, or community—must reflect God’s character by seeking wisdom that is often hidden beneath the surface.

A major theme here is self-restraint, especially in the presence of authority. Proverbs 25:6-7 warns against self-exaltation, advising the reader not to put oneself forward in the presence of the king. This echoes Christ’s teaching in Luke 14, where Jesus urges His followers to take the lower seat and let the host exalt them. True wisdom walks hand-in-hand with humility. Humility isn’t about downplaying our worth. It’s about waiting for honor to come from others rather than seizing it ourselves. Promotion that comes from God is lasting; self-promotion often ends in embarrassment.

Proverbs 25:8-10 warns against rushing into disputes that are not our own to settle. It cautions us to be careful before taking another person’s quarrel to court or becoming involved in conflicts that do not directly concern us. This advice highlights the importance of restraint and upholding peace and integrity in relationships. Theologically, it reminds us that God values peace and calls His people to be peacemakers (Matthew 5:9), encouraging us to avoid unnecessary strife and to pursue reconciliation whenever possible. Practically, it challenges us to discern when to engage and when to step back, guarding our hearts and tongues from stirring up trouble.

The next section of Proverbs 25 emphasizes the power and value of well-timed words. A word fitly spoken is likened to “apples of gold in a setting of silver” (v. 11)—beautiful, valuable, and skillfully placed. This imagery underscores that wise speech is not only truthful but also gracious, timely, and well-crafted. In relationships, especially difficult ones, the right word can heal wounds, diffuse tension, and build bridges. Gentle words have the power to persuade even a hardened heart. Such speech brings peace and can even influence rulers (v. 15).

There’s also a call to moderation and boundaries. Honey, a symbol of pleasure, is good, but too much leads to sickness (v. 16). Similarly, visiting a neighbor too frequently may wear out your welcome (v.17). Even good things, when taken to excess, lose their benefit and may bring harm.

As the chapter moves toward relational themes, it elevates the concept of grace toward enemies. Instead of seeking revenge, we are to feed and care for those who wrong us (v. 21-22). Such kindness is not weakness. It is powerful, often convicting the wrongdoer and honoring God.

Proverbs 25 further describes the importance of guarding one’s emotions and impulses. A person without self-control is likened to a city whose walls are broken down (v. 28). In ancient times, walls were a city’s defense. Likewise, self-control is our spiritual boundary, protecting us from temptation, broken relationships, and foolish choices. This vivid image calls us to strengthen our inner boundaries—our thoughts, emotions, and desires—through God’s help, prayer, and discipline. When we fail to guard our emotions, especially anger, pride, or impulsivity, we leave ourselves vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks.

In summary, Proverbs 25 challenges us to pursue God’s hidden wisdom with humility and patience, to speak words that are timely and gracious, and to cultivate self-control as a vital defense against spiritual and relational harm. It calls for a humble heart that does not seek its own glory prematurely but waits for God’s timing. It teaches us that words, when used wisely, are powerful tools for good, but without control, both speech and emotions can bring destruction. The chapter serves as a reminder that wisdom is not merely knowledge, but the practical art of living well in the sight of God and others.

The personal challenge today is to examine your heart and tongue. Are you quick to push yourself forward, or do you wait quietly for God’s honor? Are your words seasoned with grace and wisdom, or do they sometimes stir conflict? And how well are you guarding your emotions and impulses? Ask God to reveal any walls that need repair and to help you walk in humility, wisdom, and self-control. May your life be marked by words that are like “apples of gold in settings of silver,” reflecting the beauty and truth of God’s wisdom in all you say and do.

Proverbs 26

If Proverbs 25 feels poetic and elevating, Proverbs 26 is gritty and sobering. Proverbs 26 presents a strong contrast between wisdom and foolishness. This chapter portrays the fool not only as lacking sense but also as dangerous, repetitive, and resistant to correction. Giving honor to a fool is not noble; it’s as absurd as snow in summer or rain at harvest (v. 1). The message is clear: folly is out of place in a life seeking wisdom.

Fools are described as dangerous and unteachable. Sending messages by a fool is as self-defeating as cutting off your own feet (v. 6), and trusting a fool with wisdom is like placing a weapon in the hands of the careless (v. 8-9). Even when they recite wise sayings, fools don’t apply them, turning truth into confusion or harm (v. 7, 9). Repeatedly, the fool is shown to be unteachable and self-destructive, like a dog returning to its vomit (v. 11). This harsh image warns against returning to the same sins or patterns of behavior after experiencing the consequences.

Interestingly, verses 4 and 5 seem to contradict each other—“Do not answer a fool…,” followed by “Answer a fool….” The tension here reflects real life: sometimes silence is wise, while at other times, correcting a fool is necessary to prevent arrogance from developing. This requires discernment, knowing when engagement will clarify truth or when it will simply provoke more folly. Wisdom means knowing when to speak and when to walk away.

The latter half of Proverbs 26 shifts from the fool to the deceitful and divisive. The lazy person, the liar, the gossip, and the flatterer are all grouped as dangerous and destructive. The sluggard’s excuses are exaggerated and irrational, like fearing a lion in the street (v. 13). He’s so sluggish he can’t bring food to his mouth (v. 15). Yet ironically, he thinks he’s wiser than everyone around him (v.16). This is more than laziness; it’s delusion.

The next section warns against meddling in others’ conflicts. Getting involved in someone else’s dispute is like grabbing a dog by the ears (v. 17); you will get bitten. Similarly, a person who lies and then says, “I was only joking,” is likened to someone who throws deadly flaming arrows (v. 18–19), illustrating the harm that careless words can cause, even when disguised as humor.

The chapter closes with a sobering commentary on gossip, deceit, and hidden malice. Gossip fuels conflict like wood fuels fire (v. 20-21), and flattering speech often conceals hatred (v. 23-24). Gossip is described as tasty morsels that sink deep into the heart (v. 22), exposing our tendency to internalize slander and let it shape our views of others. Flattery, too, is deceitful, as it conceals malicious intent beneath smooth words (v. 24-28). Even when someone speaks kindly, their heart may be full of abominations (v. 25). The chapter closes with a sobering truth: those who dig pits for others will fall into them. God sees the heart, and manipulation or dishonesty will ultimately be exposed.

Taken as a whole, Proverbs 26 challenges believers to carefully evaluate the company they keep and the words they speak. It calls us to avoid foolishness, whether in ourselves or others, and to be wary of words that manipulate, deceive, or divide. The chapter reminds us that folly leads to ruin, but wisdom and integrity bring life. It urges us to be people who respond wisely, knowing when to speak and when to stay silent, and who guard their hearts against the destructive power of careless or deceitful words.

The personal challenge from Proverbs 26 is to examine your own patterns of speech and behavior. Are there areas where you repeat foolish mistakes or engage in gossip or flattery? Are you quick to respond to foolishness, or do you seek God’s wisdom in discerning when to answer and when to remain silent? Ask God to help you break free from any cycles of folly and to use your words for healing and truth. Commit to being a person whose speech reflects the wisdom and grace of God, building up others rather than tearing them down, and guarding your heart from the traps of deception and pride.

Conclusion

Together, Proverbs 25 and 26 form a compelling call to wisdom in how we lead, how we speak, and how we relate to others. These proverbs call for humility before God and others, for restraint in speech and emotion, and for discernment in dealing with both foolishness and deceit. In a world that often values charm, assertiveness, and self-promotion, these chapters confront us with the quiet power of humility, honesty, and godly discipline. They challenge us to examine not only our words but also the motivations behind them. Reflect on your words, your temper, your pride, and your posture toward correction. Let the beauty of wisdom, like apples of gold in silver settings, mark your life and your relationships.